Cheating vs Swinging

Although many vanillas do not understand this concept, anyone in the lifestyle will tell you that swinging is not cheating. While swinging fits under the category of extra-martial sex, it cannot be considered cheating because the extra-martial sex is consensual. By definition, true cheating involves deception. Just like Trina Decker explained, "when it comes to the lifestyle, everything is "on the table."

However, we have heard of lifestyle couples who say that they resorted to swinging in order to keep themselves from cheating, and we are torn as to whether this a healthy situation. We suppose there is no problem with this if both parties sincerely believe that their souls are not intended to be monogamous, but it's best to realize this prior to getting married.

On the other hand, we also know of some people who are genuinely aroused by the clandestine nature of cheating. For example, one blogger appropriately known as Ms. Inconspicuous enjoys writing about the erotic qualities of infidelity. For people such as her, the lifestyle would probably not curb her behavior. Honest swinging might be fun for her, but it wouldn't provide quite the same naughty thrill as meeting men on the down low.

A better example would be Michelle Ormond, a Denver-area lady also known as the "Pass-Around Girl." Back in the early 2000's, she was involved in a live-in triad with her legal husband Dennis and well-known porn star Bisexual Britni, and we met the three of them at several swing parties around town. Even though Dennis did not have an issue with Michelle fucking other men, even without him being present, Michelle could not resist the urge to carry on numerous affairs and lie about it in order to keep them secret. She was eventually diagnosed with sexual addiction.

Frankly, we believe that people who have healthy, satisfying relationships prior to entering the lifestyle ultimately make the best swingers.

Invited to a Party

We recently and finally got invited to a party. Somehow and somewhere the sex gods let us be a guest. We've had a few parties and no one ever asked us to one. Apparently the clean sheets, new towels, candles, five star food and bar weren't enough. Well, maybe it was because my husband has a large growth and frequently requires rescue from public situations. He is shy in front of crowds or groups greater than 5 million and has anxiety attacks at the thought of making love with a woman that desires him. But if you kiss him and give him your attention he'll make love, screw you silly, and invite you to sleep with him and go shoe shopping in the morning! Hey, that's how he got me and I'm sharing.

I and we know that it is of chance in this crazy lifestyle to be welcomed to a true party. This wasn't a meet and greet but a thoughtful invitation that we were included. In fact we were invited to a small party of people we have never met and from couples that were a lot younger than us. We talked on the telephone (how refreshing) before the day and couldn't wait! It wasn't about youth or young fantastical bodies, it was about swinging and some understanding that we had already agreed upon in our ageof understanding.

Well before I talk of the sex...these were the most secure and sexually mature couples we have met. Young but wickedly bright and open. Where and the heck does that come from? These are the kids we complain about for a lack of accountability! Not the case here! These were youthful and young people that had a grasp on responsibility and good at it. They also shared something that is sacred. They were uninhibited and shared sex. Not like the 60's and 70's, but with a connection. They really got it! They are swingers and and not sold on NSA as a caveat. They are willing to experiment and take it a step further. Why do I say this?

We went to a small gathering and met two couples. This is a nice way to live the lifestyle. There was no dinner, no broken dates, just an assumption of pleasure and trust. They are the most refreshing, fun, young, and sexual couple we have ever met. They are a hoot without the sex. While we have stories of sexual pleasure and blog of the pitfalls of couples dating, I finally get to write about satisfaction with a name.

I think it is very hard for couples to connect. It is hard for singles! While we have no connection with them in a comfortable in love couples sense (but it would be nice)...they are wickedly mature and take their sex with passion. Not from the lifestyle but from inside. This is the bridge that cannot be defined between fantasy and a desire for stepping out. Where am I heading with this?

He fucked me. He smelled my perfume, my sex, my juices. He made me leave my control for my spasms. I was open to him for hours of pleasure and his penetration and release. She was beautiful to look at and more attractive when she took my husband and completed his desire. Her hair was like her youth...long and full. She moved it aside so my husband could see her eyes while she sucked him and accepted him in her. She spread her legs and let him take her sex on him and open her sexual cunt to him.

Not far apart in distance and at the same time she gave herself completely. I did the same. I took his penetration and sex as genuine and let my orgasms come and repeat on the position, his thrusting, and until I could take no more and still wanted more. My husband fell in love with her tenderness and sex. He found his way inside her and tried to save his release. He couldn't resist her sex and his desire and wanted to share what came from inside. It was for her and what she had made impossible for him to hold, his cum, his cream, that wonderful cream that comes from inside and very personal. She shared that personal moment. She gave him her sex and offered it when he was ready. She kissed him, she put her arm around him, and she gave her desires completely! Twenty minutes later they were connected again like dogs that couldn't be separated. Okay, I think he had it bad for her...she was way too cute and he was cunted by her!

I am so pleased and happy to write about a couple, the lifestyle and telling a story that hopefully we can all relate to and hope for!

Swingers Discretion

I received an email from a very irate black gentleman today. He read our profile and saw our bling and read my earlier blog and apparently we angered him. I replied to him pretty much the same as I will write here, but it got me thinking. After searching other blogs I found that his stance was not uncommon.

Anyways, the gist of the email was why we wanted black men to fuck my wife behind closed doors but "we aren't good enough for dating or getting married".

Well first off, she's already married...to me. She fell in love with me, and I fell in love with her. We got married. We devoted our hearts to each other. I live for my wife's happiness.

Secondly, the laws in the US prevent people from being married to multiple partners.

Next, she has dated people of all races in the past, as have I...yes...publically dated...with all the benefits and pitfalls (because of assholes in society) that it had to offer. Whoopee for us, right. Nah...no big deal. It's just the fact that this gentleman figured he had us pegged for something and I want to dispute it.

See, my wife and I are swingers. We swing...we like to enjoy sex and enjoy it with others. We're open minded like that. We swing with other couples, other women, and other men. What we REALLY like is to play the interracial hotwife/cuckold lifestyle. I say play because we don't live it 24/7.

Because of our job and families, we rely heavily on discretion. "Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets". We don't go out and publically testify to our swinging lifestyle, why do we need to publically display the cuckold/hotwife lifestyle?

So please...don't be offended, however don't think I really give a crap if you are. It's our lives and our business. If we invite you into it, the first thing we ask is for discretion and respect. If you can't give us that, then we don't play. We give it, we expect it in return.

In conclusion, we're here to enjoy ourselves and have fun. Aren't you?

Swapping Couples Story

Over the weekend, we headed over to FLC4U's home for a few of days of relaxation. There were, of course, other activities planned, as well.

We had originally met FLC4U at their party in Songtan about four months ago, hung out with them again at our party over Chuseok, then roomed with them at the Halloween party. It seemed we were becoming quite an item.

There was, however, something we didn't understand about FLC4U: their profile explicitly states that they are not looking for full-swap couples, but they seemed to be enjoying our company a lot. In fact, I think we let them down over Halloween because they wanted to room with us in order to "share."

G from FLC4U likes Abby's curves and personality (and, I'm sure, the number and intensity of her orgasms) and C likes cuddly teddy bears. It seems we were the ones to break the "no swapping" rule, so we went this last weekend to help them with that.

We're not really strong swappers. I've said previously that I don't generally find other women interesting and kind of lose my "steam" when we get down to the moment, but I let FLC4U know this and agreed to try yet again. C is cute and curvy, so I figured I could get over my inhibitions with her.

The first night we didn't swap, though. We went out to eat kalbi and have a few drinks at a great pirate bar, then went home to play around on their bed.

At this point, I think I should comment on their apartment. They have a great place with two large bedrooms and a rooftop all to themselves. Their fridge is always overflowing with stuff we can't find out here in nowheresville and their hospitality makes us feel embarrassingly pampered.

Anyway, the first night the girls did a little kissing and such, but we still ended up in a same-room sex situation with not much contact between them. We feel very comfortable with FLC4U and enjoy their company very much, so not jumping into a big pile wasn't a result of feeling uncomfortable -- it just didn't happen the way we planned.

As usual, Abby came several times, but I didn't orgasm in the group setting. I guess I get a little gun-shy. After we went to separate bedrooms, though, Abby and I took care of that. The volume of come was amazing. I just kept shooting and shooting, covering Abby's chest and mouth, with lines of white extending to her hairline. I'm lucky I didn't put an eye out with the thing, and I somehow avoided getting anything up her nose, as well.

The second day was a lazy, lay-around event. G cooked up a fine breakfast for us and then we sat around talking until about two, when FLC4U disappeared into the bedroom for a nap and we took showers. I played with the X-Box for a while, but eventually got bored and horny, so asked Abby to give me a blowjob in the living room. G came out of their bedroom to walk the dog, so we ducked into our bedroom to finish up. He came back sometime in the middle to the sound of moans and screams. He he. Poor guy.

When C woke up to find out that we had gone on without her, she was upset and disappointed, so we agreed to stay another night and rush home on Monday morning. C was so excited to have her "Abby time" that she was jumping up and down.

After some Outback Steakhouse and 3-4 drinks each, we went back to their place and spent the next half hour swapping information about dos and don'ts for each of the group. The partner was the one who described the process of bringing the other to orgasm. That worked pretty well and we learned that C is a lot less sensitive than Abby is and can be squeezed a little harder.

Swingers vacation

We just go back from a week at the Outer Banks in NC. It was bike week and I really hoped to have my first biker. It seems that alot of swingers online are bikers and I've always thought how sexy it would be on a bike behind those sand dunes up near corolla. I could lay back on the bike while he stands behind the bike and rubs my clit with his thumb while he enters me. The sun would beat down on us but the heat between us would overshadow it. The ocean beeze would dry our swet and our sex would over scent the air so that all you could smell was raw sex. MMMmmmm.
But I couldn't find me a biker, so I made do. We had a couple visit us on Tuesday and after a great dinner at Jolly Rogers the four of us lay down on the bed and sucked and fucked our eyes out. They are a terrific couple and I really had a good time. The first orgasm shook my bones and after that every move he made started a new wave of tremmors. more later I've made myself horny and have to relieve the stress lol

Swingers Lifestyle Choices

As an active swinger I wonder how difficult it would be to find other lifestyle friends if it were not for this and other similar sites.

Even going to the meet n' greets I realize how difficult it is to determine the lifestyle peeps from the non-lifestyle peeps.

I am fortunate as I am part of a very large circle or network if you will of lifestyle friends. Finding someone to play with is never difficult. Our network frequents local dances and certain events around town, thus keeping it interesting all the time.

I remember when I was a newbie to this lifestyle and I found a local event in Burnaby and my then husband and I went. I was mauled by two strangers and yet no one else even spoke to us. It is such a shame that we have such great resources for lifestyle choices such as swinging and yet we so rarely embrace new people.

I have helped many new swingers find the connections and the venues they wanted and I think it should be like that for everyone. Why can't we have a ton of new people in our chat rooms or at the meet n' greets or other functions? Let's embrace the newbie's people because we were once newbies ourselves.

So here is my challenge to all chat rooms, all groups, all lifestyles out there: I dare all of you to show some support to a newbie or two at every event you attend or every chat room your in for the next month. Let's see if our circle of friends can duplicate itself in the next month simply by opening ourselves up to someone new!!!

Are swingers ultimate lovers?

Many people may fantasize about an orgy, a threesome or more. Some even try it out, some have a great experience, others are woefully disappointed.

Unfortunately, sometimes the fantasy was better. Not surprisingly, as nothing surpasses your own inner realm, in most cases. Some get a great kick out of it.

But in a relationship, the bond of the swinger couple must be amazing.

The reservation is the motive. Selfishness is the worst way, it will lead to failure.

Most lovers love to see their partnes enjoy themselves. To be able to see your partner enjoy themselves with another must the a horrific experience. I think though of the person who are able to let themselves go so completely as to give their most dearest, so that they may succum to this experience must be an immense act of love.

Like BDSM, things aren't what they seem at all. The one in restraint is the one in control. It is a roleplay, rules known to the participants.

To give yourself to another is the ultimate act of love. To set them free is just as great an act. To let you partner enjoy themselves in sensual rapture in the way they desire is a massive thing to do - if it is consentual.

Like masturbation it is only a sin if it is considered so. The hard part may be the guilt and shame of enjoying it. If the jealousy is overwhelming, maybe the motives weren't the right one. You would have to be pretty sure of your partner to handle it.

Most sex columns I've read warn against it. I am not sure if I'd engage in it with my partner, but that would be enitrely up to the situation of our lives then. You might hear the stories where they failed this "test". Once in a while in variuos chat forums, some simply write "tried it, and liked it". But has it ever saved or enhanced a romance or a love life? What do you think?